Actually, I’m a coward

Is there something that burns so deep inside you, a belief, a principle, a mission, that you would be willing to lay down your life to further it’s fulfillment, without certainty that your objective will be realized? Is there something that brings honor and meaning to your presence here on earth? If there is not something like this in your life, can you build the fire? Can the embers be stoked? 

Honestly, there is not something I am willing to die for. I would die so my son could live. I would die so that my fiancé could live. But there is not something that I have so resolutely committed my life to. This is the surrender to a cause recognized by myself as a mighty one.

I have seen others free inside their commitments to their purpose. And I fear I am actually a coward. I have amassed wealth, comfort, while maintaining an outward appearance of compassion for others.

Yet am I doing enough? I want to be used up. I fear I have closed my heart to life and to my people. Will I be a passerby as the world burns? As we kill one another? As we exploit but do not replenish?

My heart breaks for the conditions of others. Yet I am doing just enough to consider myself better than my peers and perhaps little more. Others lay down their lives and would sacrifice their souls, for the healing of others. I am only willing to step one inch closer into the fire than the man next to me into your fire and not an inch more.

Closing prayer: Dear lord please give me the strength to carry on. To speak loudly and publicly about the possibilities that surround us. Please give me the resources to bring divine love into the world.